To be clear, I write more for my own benefit than anything else. It’s my way of putting my random thoughts to pen and trying to make sense of them.

Now for my most recent mental rumblings…

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My topic today is life:

• Am I alive?
• Am I living my life?

The answer to my question is unequivocally no!

I’d like to think the opposite, but it seems these days I’ve been swimming in the shallow end of the pool of life.

It’s much like watching TV. An old favorite re-run is on and I’m the star. Similar plot. Same actors. Reliving the same status quo.

Don’t get me wrong. I have had many great experiences in my time on this planet. And I’m experiencing new ones even today.

My question to myself has been growing in intensity over the last few months.

Am I really in the “now”? Am I living these moments under my rules and experiencing my life in living color?

Opening The Crypt

Lifting the lid on the proverbial grave is harder than it seems. But in order to see the light, you’ve got to shed some preconceived notions.

• Lie #1 -”It worked for me until now, so why change it?”

Just because an idea, action or character trait got you where you are now, it doesn’t mean that it is still the rot way to go about things.

Let’s say you build a business model and a team that yields a specific set of results in your business. Don’t want to mess with something that ain’t broke, right?

Who’s to say that the business you are in didn’t change?

Now you’re target is no longer where you’ve been aiming.

The moral: Be prepared to change, because life is going to do it for you whether you’re ready or not.

• Lie #2 – “Getting too personal is a bad idea.”

We all have common interests when it comes to those at we work with, but unless you know the real heart of those you are arm-in-arm with you’ll just be another leader without a compass.

Back to a business example.

Lets say we are all marching toward a specific dollar figure. One that you haven’t achieved to date. In order to make that move, everyone needs to feel engaged.

Unless everyone has the opportunity to express themselves and explore what makes them feel valued, you’ll miss the mark.

Everyone has something they are inside that they don’t always show.

Find what makes you and your team tick on an emotional level and help encourage growth.

The moral: Get personal with others. The more you keep them out, the harder it is to experience life.

• Lie #3 – “It’s ok to settle for something less than your goal.”

This is the worst lie of them all.

Giving up before you get to the end of any journey is stupid.

Yes, there will be setbacks that we all face. But you just can’t lay down and accept defeat and get drawn in to someone else’s objectives.

You’ve got to be yourself in order to contribute to any worthy effort.

The moral: Get started and don’t quit.

Tending To The Dirt

Any time you open the crypt there will be dust and cobwebs.

Time to clean out the cobwebs and dust in your soul, dig deep and reach out for life.

You never know if your time to shine is just around the corner…

Don’t be surprised!

It’s me making bad decisions on a daily basis!

If you’ve followed any of my efforts lately, you know that most if my fundraising and community support has gone into a program called Project 5210.

Project 5210 is a free weight management program for children and their families offered by CHRISTUS Health systems.

The program exposes people to a lot of great things such as weight management, diet coaching, exercise coaching and motivational speeches.

The core of the program is the 5-2-1-0.

• 5 servings of fruits and vegetables per day
• 2 hours or less of TV/computer viewing per day
• 1 hour of physical activity/exercise per day
• 0 tolerance for alcohol, tobacco and drugs

Seems great, right!

I was a firm believer that this works for others.

Stupid me…

I’m adopting it starting today!

Time to focus on these last 20 pounds….

It’s just me making a point.

(Just explains the poor use of grammar).

The point is this:

The way I’ve been living my live just doesn’t add up!

Confused?

Me too.

Let me break it down a bit more.

A few days ago I hit a wall of sorts in my career.  It was a level of frustration that I’ve really not experienced before.

You see, I have issues with perfection.

My issues usually surround the lack of perfection.  

I strive to be perfect in:

• My career,
• My family,
• My health,
• My running, and
• My performance.

The downside is that I almost demand it in return.

That level of expectation upon myself, much less others, has caused me to reach a point where something has got to give.  It’s become almost detrimental to my life as well as others.

After an email conversation with a colleague, I really started studying the defect in my thinking (being the self-critical person that I am).

Here’s where the bad math comes into play.

THE FIRST PERSON

The first person in my life is the “me” at work.

I’m a very driven person.  I am goal oriented and I drive hard at making things improve and grow.  Over the last couple of years of focus and intensity, together with a strong group of people, we have been able to make strides in building a legacy of growth and performance.

Something that makes me quite proud.

THE SECOND PERSON

This is the “me” in the public eye.

You’re looking at me right now.  One who likes to write, read and share about life with high aspirations of helping others through words and deeds.

I am heavy hearted and filled with a strong desire to give and share.

Whether you like it or not…

THE THIRD PERSON

This is the “me” at home.

Oddly enough I am a very reflective person who enjoys the peace and quiet away from people.  Almost to the point of disconnecting from society.  I would compare it to a sort of anti-social behavior.

But at times I need that quiet to gather my thoughts so I can go another day in the other “roles” of my life.

THE FOURTH PERSON

This is the “me” when no one is looking.

I like to:

• Sing (only when alone and usually in the car)
• Write (hence the blogging)
• Read (when I get spare time)
• Stalk other peoples’ Facebook photos – especially the funny cats with quotes

I’m a child at heart!

I can’t help it…

All Of This Equals

I try to live all of these “lives” in separate compartments.

The “Work Me” has a different place than the “Home Me”.

Rarely will you see the “Home Me” out in public.

The “Reflective Me” can usually be found on the couch at home.

The “Alone In The Car Singing Me” will never be spotted unless I am on margarita #2 at Superior Bar & Grill and there is a microphone in my face.

What all of this means is that I need to start blending the areas of my life:

• My work life could use a touch of the passion I share for others.
• My personal life could use some of the discipline my career has taught me.
• My family needs to hear me sing once in awhile so they know I’m human.
• My world needs less “couch” and more “spring”.

Long story short:

My life needs to become one.

Living separately got me this far.

But this is as far as I go until I get to learn how to live as one within….

Well, April showers brings May flowers. What do May flowers bring?

Not much if you don’t tend to the soil, water and light…

Your mind is much like that cluttered closet or a weed-stricken garden:

There’s some weeds that need pulling and junk that needs to be tossed!

Let’s start with a couple of weeds first…

Negative Thinking

Sometimes it is easy to start falling prey to a negative mindset.  Setbacks usually start you to deviate from your task at hand.  I mean, why would you continue if it appears to be failing right?

Wrong.

Failure is only a learning opportunity.  Reset your focus and keep aiming for your end result.

Giving up is the worst thing you can do!  And it usually will start with a thinking problem.

Words That Steal

Avoid verbalizing negative thoughts.

Words often reinforce and give birth to bad things.  Sometimes you might think a negative thought.  You can correct it in your head.

But if you speak it, it’ll take flight.

Change your thoughts and change your words.

It also pays to change your words before in order to change your thoughts…

Catch that?

Distracting Time Magnets

Lots of projects are important.

But ask yourself these questions:

• Is the task at hand important and relevant to my goal?
• Can someone else handle the task?
• Six months from now will it really matter?

So there’s a cobweb removal of the mind for you.

Focus and get your butt back on track!

And, yes, I am preaching to the choir.

However it would be nice to reintroduce it to folks.

You’re probably thinking “What the hell are you talking about Eric?”.

Let me phrase it another way:

Sometimes people lose their basic knowledge and common sense!

So reintroducing the wheel is much like a refresher course.

The wheel works so why try to improve on it?

Round is a basic, fundamental shape than allows a wheel’s motion to continue. You can try and change it to square, but odds are if you do manage to start moving, the jarring sensation would be unbearable!

God forbid you try a triangle!

Now, you can make the wheel bigger and shinny. Slap some 22′s on the car. The premise is the same. It’s still round and it rolls.

I guess what I am trying to say is that there are some fundamentals that get lost when we focus too hard on “improving”.

Take my job for example. The coolest spreadsheets and analytical data can teach you a lot. But without the basic idea of delivering excellent customer service and a positive work environment, that spreadsheet would contain nothing but zeros.

Let’s look at another retail experience.

My Most Recent Trip To Best Buy

I went online and ordered an item as a gift. I used the “In Store Pickup” option so I wouldn’t have to go thorough the trouble of finding my item and standing in a lengthy line to pay for it.

Honestly, I felt like crap that day and would have rather been in bed.

I arrive at the local Best Buy. I have my ID, Credit Card and Order Number as instructed per the email and was standing second in line.

I’ll paint a picture for you:

• Line 1: Online Order Pickup (with one couple ahead of me)
• Line 2: Customer Service Lane (with no one in line)
• Line 3: Customer Service Lane (with no one in line)

Now I’m thinking what you are. One of those kind girls will simply say “Can I help you sir?”.

No such luck…

The only question asked was “Do you have an online order?”.

There was hope yet!

“Yes ma’am” I replied.

“Oh, ok” she stated then went away to shelve some returned items.

“I’m doomed to this line” I thought to myself.

Twenty-four minutes later my thoughts shifted to “I could’ve just picked up what I wanted, proceeded to the cash register, paid for my items, walked over and turned them in for a refund way faster than this online order business!”.

Common sense would have told you just to let the customer switch lanes and pick up there.

My bet is that someone created a process that didn’t bend.

“That Customer Service Lane is not for Online Order Pickup!”

Trying to improve on something took away from the one thing they could’ve been doing right.

My Hopes?

I hope that I haven’t lost sight of being the best “me” that I can be.

And my even bigger hope is that processes I’ve created have not stripped away the one thing that matters most in business…

Excellent Customer Service!

I know. You’re shocked right?!

Me too.

This ranks right up there with me swearing off coffee!

My thoughts after my last half-marathon is that I wanted to run leaner and faster.

I started doing some research on timing my run and ran across an article (again in Runner’s World magazine) about cross training and strengthening the rest of my body.

This didn’t make sense to me at first until I started trying these exercises.

I mean, not to brag, but:

• I’ve ran a marathon (not well, but I finished).
• I’ve ran a few half-marathons.
• I’ve ran countless 5K’s.
• I’ve ran nearly 2000 miles in training.

The assumption I made was simple: I’m in pretty good shape!

Holy Cow Was I Wrong!

The more I tried these exercises, the more committed I become to being a balanced athlete.

My goals in the coming years include being a faster and stronger runner, but also start exploring other sports such as:

• Swimming
• Cycling
• Trail Running

So in order to perform, I’ve got to change how I prepare.

So, leave some comments out there for me…

What are you guys and gals doing to stay fit?

Not Knowing Will Stop You Cold

After many years earning a degree at the “School Of Hard Knocks”, I have come to one simple conclusion:

If you are working toward someone else’s dream, your life will feel like work.

That seems like a simple statement, yet it’s one of the most profound ones I have heard in years!

Let’s think about for a few minutes:

If it is not something that you've created, will you work that hard for it? 

If it belongs to another, would that cause you to hate working toward it? 

If you have a dream, but build one someone else's, how do you accept it?

You have got to approach your goals and dreams in this life.  No one else will do it for you.

If it is something you know deep down inside engages you and employs your talents, you’ve got to chase it in order to feel fulfilled.

Now, am I saying abandon all else in your and dive head first toward your dreams or goals?

Maybe.

But take that with a word of caution!

You’ve got to be sure that it’s the right thing to do for you at this time.

But this doesn’t mean that what you are currently doing isn’t bad for you.

Team vs. I

Teams that works together should have a team’s goal in mind.

But good coaches also know that each team member has personal goals in their lives to.

If you fit with the team, stick with the team and achieve as a group.

It is possible that you have a dream and also be a part of a team.

Work toward them both.

Achieving as an individual as well as a team will leave you excited.

How I Quit Smoking

You know I smoked for about 22 years.

I started when I was the age of 15.  I had a good friend of mine who talked me into trying it.

Having the addictive personality that I do, I thought “Why not?”.

I got that funny little light-headed buzz and thought “Hey, this is kinda fun!”.

Twenty-two years later and somewhere around $30,112 lighter, I had an epiphany.

I had already started my weight loss journey.  I was starting to become active by spending some spare time walking the streets.

Then I decided that I’d try and stretch my legs and run.

What a reality check!

My lungs were no where near ready for the abuse I put them through.

How I Quit

Over the years I tried a few different methods:

• I tried the gum (which made my mouth sore and my jaw ache).
• I tried the patches (which gave me some wicked dreams).
• I tried hypnosis (which made me undress when I heard cowbells).

None of these worked!  I felt just like a lost cause.

The Magic Ingredient

Here comes the secret to quitting.

I decided that I wanted to.

The problem I had was that I really enjoyed smoking.  I really loved cigars.  Especially with a nice glass of wine.

So the magic is that little switch between my ears that flipped.  My brain decided that it was time to stop letting “things” or “habits” control me.

Now I did consult a physician and used a medicinal aid to help with the cravings.  Please consult a physician!

Long story short, I was able to kick the habit.

That was 3 years ago last October.

And I never regret the day I gave them up.

New Tricks A Old Dog Can Teach

Picture the front porch of an old country home. The boards of the porch are weathered, partly loose and creaks under the rocking of the proprietor’s chair.

The sun is settling off in the distance, casting that “sundown orange” hue on the face of the occupant of the rickety old rocker.

As he puffs on his pipe, he admires the colors God has painted on the field before him. He hears the faint howl of his trusty hound over the rustling of the wind through the reeds.

“What’s wrong boy?” the elder asks.

Not a glance from the hound. Just the light howl, more closely resembling a whine.

“Boy, stop that racket, get yourself up and c’mon over here!” he proclaims.

The defiant hound seems content with his moaning. More like complaining.

He doesn’t budge.

The rocking chair grows quiet, hands clutched around the arms with a white-knuckled grip.

“Dog, if you don’t stop that constant crying, I’m gonna come give you something to whine about!”.

Softly, the whimpering continues.

The old man launches out of his chair, wraps his arms around his old barrel-chested hound and picks him up from those tattered boards.

The whining stops and is signified by a deep sigh.

Just where the hound’s tail end was resting was a rusty, dull nail that looks to have been nagging the poor pup in the rear for hours.

“Silly mutt! Why didn’t you get up off that nail and stop the pain, instead of just whimperin’ about it?”.

The old hound stared back, blinked a few times with gratitude.

“I guess it just didn’t hurt bad enough, did it boy?”.

The Lesson

We go through life from time to time, not really happy with where we are.

Nothing seems to change.

We spend our time fussing and whining about conditions, taking it out on those close to us.

We just continue to sit on that rusty, dull old nail sticking in our tails.

We’ve grown content with being uncomfortable.

We moan and complain to the others around us. Annoying them with our racket.

When Will It Hurt Bad Enough?

When will you decide to stop bitching and get off that nail?

When will you realize that the change you seek requires that you simply just stand up?

When will you realize that those around you want you to live a better life?

The time to move is now, my friend.

“Don’t make me come over there and give you something to whine about!”