I had some down times in 2011. I couldn’t get the urge to “Quit” out of my mind. Whether it be work, running, weight control, or healthy living, I heard that demon voice telling me to “quit” more than once.
I kept my head down and pushed through. I’m glad I did.
But doesn’t it hurt, sometimes…
You know those
- days where you know you should have gotten up and ran those miles, but didn’t?
- job tasks that should have been put to flight, but you let the procrastination monster block the door?
- doughnuts you ate instead of an apple?
- nights you went to sleep without letting someone know you love them when all it took was a text or a 3 second conversation?
All those things ever got me was a guilty feeling that reinforced negative thought patterns that immobilized me even more. Then you get to thinking, “why the hell bother? I’ve already screwed up! I fell off the wagon and let everyone down. I might as well….quit.”
Then, the frustration leads to anger, forcing out laughter and happiness and joy.
It’s just then that you lash out at someone else…because you were frustrated with yourself. Then you feel………..
See the circle?
- Offend.
- Feel the guilt.
- Rinse and repeat.
It’s like the instructions on the shampoo bottle become the plot of your personal horror movie.
The Change
Like it or not, change usually requires something dramatic, drastic or painful. We tend to be like burned out light bulbs…that don’t really want to change.
My moment was dramatic. Someone else showed me that what I do actually matters.
I can have a positive impact on someone else’s life.
I can’t put into words the way it felt to understand that, but it woke me up like nothing else has been able to do. I’ve become more aware of my outward expressions. I notice which people are watching me.
The thought that I was failing you hurt me to the core.
Accept my apology?
Don’t Tell the Mayans, but…
It’s 2012!
I’ve set a high bar for myself to clear. Those mistakes I made in 2011 are lessons to live by this year. I know that I won’t fix them all. I know that I’ll make new mistakes. I hope you’ll learn how to handle your own by watching me successfully respond to mine.
It’s time for tears of joy, shouts of celebration and camaraderie.
Go Change Two Lives
Someone else’s…
…and Your own.
